Foul Fourplay: Rachel Uchitel Claims Affair with Tiger Woods; Golfer Hurt in Car Crash

In October, she claimed to be having an affair with Bones star David Boreanaz. The celebrity gossip world reported on the story and then shrugged. No offense to Boreanaz, but he doesn't get our jucies flowing.

If Uchitel's latest story is true, however, she'll receive the proper attention she clearly craves.

The National Enquirer reports that Uchitel has been sleeping with Tiger Woods. A friend of Rachel's supposedly told the unreliable tabloid:

"Rachel told me, ‘I’m having an affair with Tiger Woods. We’re in love!’ She even read me text messages Tiger sent her that said ‘I love you, babe. It’s always going to be just you and me. They were constantly sexting."

Forget the iconic Tiger Woods fist pump, Rachel Uchitel says the golfer has been pumping her full of his nine-inch iron.

Tiger's lawyer denies the charges, but does actually tell the Enquirer's print edition that his client met Uchitel at a club.

That admission does cause us to wonder if there's any truth to this rumor. But one look at Elin Nordegren pictures and it's easy to realize: no way Woods is sticking his driver in someone else's hole.

If you know what we mean!

UPDATE: In unrelated and actually true news, Tiger is in "serious" condition after being involved in a single car crash near his home in Florida early this morning.

The crash occurred at 2:20 a.m. near his home, and he was taken to Health Central Hospital with facial lacerations. Woods struck a fire hydrant and then a tree on a neighbor's property. Police say alcohol was not a factor.

According to ESPN, the police report reads, "driver had just pulled out of the driveway at his residence ... as [vehicle] began to drive on Deacon Circle, [vehicle] struck a fire hydrant. The front of [vehicle] then struck a tree."

He was driving a 2009 Cadillac SUV. Here's wishing Woods a speedy recovery.